RHYMES WITH TRUCK

Friday, December 19, 2014

The Immigrant : Statistics : 2012 - 2013 - 2014

____ One hundred and two months of driving in North America. 1,067,714 miles in seven different trucks for just two employers. The millionth mile coming up on 17th of March 2014; Trans-Canada Highway, westbound, just before Regina, Saskatchewan. Not far from the place where I broke down on my first trip; seven years and 9 months before.


  • Jan   2012    22396 km
  • Feb  2012    23504 km
  • Mar  2012    16091 km
  • Apr  2012    17956 km
  • May 2012    22104 km
  • Jun   2012    19775 km
  • Jul    2012    22915 km
  • Aug  2012    24452 km    Best of Year   14942 miles per month.
  • Sep   2012    22692 km
  • Oct   2012    23254 km
  • Nov  2012    22043 km
  • Dec   2012   15850 km
  • Total           253032 km    or    154630 miles per year.
  • Average        21086 km    or      12885 miles per month.

  • Jan   2013    20590 km
  • Feb  2013    18760 km
  • Mar  2013    23001 km
  • Apr  2013    23239 km    Best of Year    14201 miles per month.
  • May 2013    20766 km
  • Jun   2013    22960 km
  • Jul    2013    18948 km
  • Aug  2013    13353 km
  • Sep   2013    16963 km
  • Oct   2013    22548 km
  • Nov  2013    21353 km
  • Dec   2013    22730 km
  • Total           245181 km    or    149832 miles per year.
  • Average        20431 km    or      12486 miles per month. 

  • Jan   2014    19588 km
  • Feb   2014   18816 km
  • Mar  2014    21753 km
  • Apr   2014   18012 km
  • May  2014   21715 km
  • Jun    2014     3344 km
  • Jul    2014            0 km
  • Aug  2014    21917 km    Best of Year    13393 miles per month.
  • Sep   2014    21059 km  
  • Oct   2014    16104 km
  • Nov  2014            0 km
  • Dec   2014            0 km
  • Total           142768 km    or    87247 miles per year.
  • Average        11897 km    or      7270 miles per month.  

  • 2014    142768 km    or     88714 miles
  • 2013    245181 km    or   149832 miles
  • 2012    253032 km    or   154630 miles
  • 2011    197920 km    or   120951 miles
  • 2010    205538 km    or   125606 miles
  • 2009    186458 km    or   113946 miles
  • 2008    206624 km    or   126270 miles
  • 2007    173848 km    or   106240 miles
  • 2006    106904 km    or     65330 miles.
  • Total   1718273 km    or 1067714 miles
  • Av:         16845 km    or     10467 miles per month.
  • Av:       202149 km    or  125613 miles per year
All the log-books altogether on one table. Needed for tax refunds and Permanent Residency qualification. So, do not discard.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Immigrant : Statistics : 2009 - 2010 - 2011

____ The distances covered in the year before the blog started and the first 2 years of Roadtrip Chris Arbon. Fifty-nine months of Big Freight [ BFS] and seven months at Flying Eagle Transport [ FET ].

  • Jan  2009    16208 km.
  • Feb 2009    10032 km
  • Mar 2009           0 km
  • Apr  2009   17140 km
  • May 2009   16438 km
  • Jun  2009    20274 km
  • Jul   2009    18937 km
  • Aug 2009    20937 km     Best of Year  12794 miles per month.
  • Sep  2009      9699 km
  • Oct  2009    20331 km
  • Nov 2009    20655 km
  • Dec 2009     15807 km
  • Total          186458 km    or    113946 miles
  • Average       15538 km    or        9495 miles per month.


  • Jan  2010     18458 km
  • Feb 2010     17586 km
  • Mar 2010     17893 km
  • Apr  2010    18244 km
  • May 2010    19927 km    Best of Year   12177 miles per month.
  • Jun  2010     19067 km
  • Jul   2010     16688 km
  • Aug 2010     19238 km
  • Sep  2010     19762 km
  • Oct  2010     19643 km
  • Nov 2010     19029 km
  • Dec 2010             0 km
  • Total          205538 km    or    125604 miles.
  • Average       17128 km    or      10467 miles per month

  • Jan  2011              0 km
  • Feb  2011             0 km
  • Mar 2011     12159 km
  • Apr 2011      20263 km
  • May2011      17551 km     BFS:   9042 km  /  FET:   8509 km.
  • Jun  2011      20984 km
  • Jul   2011      20274 km
  • Aug 2011      23999 km     Best of Year    14666 miles per month.
  • Sep  2011      20086 km
  • Oct  2011      20579 km
  • Nov 2011      20115 km
  • Dec 2011      22748 km
  • Total           197920 km    or    120951 miles
  • Average        16493 km    or      10079 miles per month.

  • Grand Total : Jun 2006 - Dec 2011:    1077292 km    or    658345 miles.
  • Average       : Jun 2006 - Dec 2011:        16322 km    or        9974 miles per month.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The Immigrant : Statistics : 2006 - 2007 - 2008.

____ The first 2 and a half years of my time in Canada; when emigrating as a British truck-driver was a whole lot easier. Here are the distances I covered in those early days.

  • July 2006    13058 km.
  • Aug 2006    19725 km
  • Sep  2006    22253 km  Best of Year. 13599 miles.
  • Oct  2006    20403 km
  • Nov 2006    19292 km
  • Dec 2006    12173 km
  • Total          106904 km or 65330 miles.
  • Average       17817 km or 10888 miles per month
  • C537          106904 km. Jun to Dec.

  • Jan  2007    19058 km
  • Feb 2007    17913 km
  • Mar 2007    19017 km
  • Apr 2007    19478 km
  • May 2007   10035 km
  • Jun  2007     2085  km
  • Jul   2007    19486 km
  • Aug 2007    19876 km  Best of Year.  12146 miles.
  • Sep  2007    19701 km
  • Oct  2007    11961 km
  • Nov 2007    16938 km
  • Dec 2007      8300 km
  • Total         173848 km or 106240 miles.
  • Average      14487 km or   8853 miles per month.
  • C537          79269 km  Jan to May.
  • C540            6232 km  March trips to Alaska.
  • C616          75168 km  Jun to Nov.
  • C596          23179 km  Nov/ Dec.

  • Jan  2008    13356 km
  • Feb 2008    20709 km  Best of Year.   12655 miles.
  • Mar 2008    17400 km
  • Apr 2008     18105 km
  • May2008     17075 km
  • Jun  2008     14824 km
  • Jul  2008      19504 km
  • Aug2008     19803 km
  • Sep 2008     16897 km
  • Oct 2008     14966 km
  • Nov2008     18971 km
  • Dec 2008     13013 km.
  • Total          206624 km or 126270 miles.
  • Average       17218 km or   10522 miles per month.
  • C596         206624 km  Jan to Dec.

  • 2006/07/08 Total :     487376 km or 297840 miles.
  • 2006/07/08 Average :  16245 km or   9928 miles per month.

Friday, December 12, 2014

The Immigrant : Part Four.

The Interstate 94; week in-week out in Winter 2007/2008.
____ Five weeks passed before I returned to Canada after my father's funeral. My future now looked to be in North America and the exodus of British truck-drivers was peaking at the same time. Big Freight had mailed a LMO [Labour Market Opinion], the necessary paper needed for another year as temporary foreign worker. Two more new recruits, John and Kevin, were on the same plane. The Steinbach haulier was the main point of entry for a lot of Brits trying for a better future. Things worked out fine for some, some returned to the UK quite quickly.

____ The job was advertised as long-haul flat-deck work, which was hard work, especially in Winter. Those who hadn't done it before either adapted quickly or left to find something easier. Most drivers had a secret agenda based on the needs of their families. For some, Big Freight was just a way of getting into Canada. I felt sorry for Eric Slatcher as driver after driver came and went; but the company were just as much to blame for driver turn-over. If it had been a really good job with good wages then I am sure that a lot of drivers would have stayed. Then again; if it was a good job then the company would not have needed to recruit foreign drivers; Canadians would have done it.

____ There was a brand new truck waiting when I restarted work. C616, another Kenworth T800; the same as before but with the ceramic re-generation emissions filter and associated environmental advantages. It went well for a couple of months but then started to play-up; showing flaws in the engineering developments of the Caterpillar C15 engine. It was frustrating; endless engine-check lights and nobody who knew how to put things right. So frustrating to Caterpillar that they gave up completely and stopped making diesel engines for road-going trucks. I gave up completely in November; telling Eric that I was losing money due to all the down-time on the truck. Within a week, I was driving C596, one of the last batch before the emissions rubbish arrived.

____ There was not a lot of variety in the work at this time. The economic crash caused by the banks was starting to effect the road transport industry as the recession began to bite. Most of the trips seemed to be up and down Interstate 94, to and from the Chicago area. But one thing made me think that Canada and I were made for each other and I was in the right place at the right time. I had never thought of becoming a Permanent Resident of Canada as the paper work looked too involved. First you needed a nomination from the province of Manitoba; then a whole lot more paper work for the federal government. Then by a lucky twist of fate; I met Paula on an on-line dating site. The nice lady worked for the immigration department of the Canadian government. So much easier when the forms are filled in for you; I didn't even have buy a stamp and the envelope went straight on to the top of the pile. Some things are meant to be.

____ The closure of Canada's only glass-making factory was a big blow for Big Freight; along with the crash of the house-building and construction industry in the US. From a fleet of 160 units they quickly shrank to just one-hundred by March 2008. British drivers were leaving on a weekly basis; so many that I thought I was missing something but none were going to jobs that I would have preferred better than Big Freight. Any way I had another more serious problems than work; my health.

____ Although the Provincial Nomination Program had been a piece of piss; my Permanent Residency application was having problems because of my piss. During the rigorous medical examination; blood was found in my urine and further tests were ordered. There was a one in 7 chance that I had prostrate cancer and judging by the awful tests used to find the cancer; it must be pretty awful too. Sending in the camera crew to photograph the inside of my bladder was particularly disturbing. Although I was pleased that my first-ever body cavity search was carried out by medical staff  and not customs officers.

____July 2nd 2008 and my PR came through; the cancer scare was a false alarm. I bought a Mustang to celebrate. Big Freight finally got their act together and a hatchet man cut the office staff down to size. The complacency had cost them a lot of customers as competitors found easy pickings amongst them. Suddenly the "Welcome to Manitoba" mat had been whipped out from under the feet of any British drivers hoping to come to Canada. It was never going to be that easy again. I did have the satisfaction of knowing that I had finally arrived in the heyday of a particular job. Both in car-transporters and Middle-East work; I had arrived as things were tailing-off. Thinking about it; Middle-East and North American work have a lot in common: a lot of very hard work for not much better than average pay.  

Monday, December 8, 2014

The Immigrant : Part Three.

Never one for ladies of the night,
My profile went up on a dating site.
"New Guy In Town" didn't have to wait,
"Crazy-4-You" took the bait.
Soon we were on our first date.
My problem was my lack of wealth,
Her problem was her mental health.
So now I'm resigned to being alone;
Well anyway, I'm never home.
 
 
Longest Trip.
 
____ My first trip for Big Freight was to Calgary in truck C537, a Kenworth T800. Five hours down the road, at Whitewood, Saskatchewan, the fan-belt broke on the fifteen litre Caterpillar engine and I sat for 24 hours before it was replaced. 24 hour service, in Canada, means twenty-four hours before somebody can get out to the truck. The company's response to my delay was "Laid-Back." In fact, laid-back described every aspect of Big Freight. A lot of good paying work fell into the company's hands, there was no forced despatch. If a driver didn't like a job; then they would find him something else. If  a driver made a mistake; there was nobody to give him a bollocking as long as he didn't prompt an insurance claim. All the staff were easy-going, friendly and bordering on complacent. I had previously worked for haulage firms that had twice as many trucks with half as many office workers as Big Freight. They were top-heavy with no leader driving them on. I thought it was strange but maybe that was how all Canadian companies worked.
 
 
____ The Summer months of 2006 soon became my first "Fall" then my first Canadian Winter. The flat-deck work was varied; giving me new roads to drive nearly every day. This was the main attraction of the job. Steel buildings from Brandon went all over North America. Specialist lumber from Kenora went to most of the eastern US. The quad-bikes and snow-mobiles of Minnesota went to practically every town and village in Canada. Of course not every job was like French-kissing a princess and there were plenty of frogs that needed snogging; loads that needed tarping in temperatures of -20 and then un-tarping just a hundred miles up the road. But I took the rough with the smooth and never refused to do a job that was physically and legally possible.
 
____ One high-light of that first year was my first trip to Newfoundland; still my longest-ever. Industrial machinery from Winnipeg with a collection of similar pieces at Ayr, in Ontario; all destined for a paper-mill in Windsor, on Newfoundland. Leaving home on a Monday morning and delivering on the following Monday; plenty of time to muddle through at the ferry terminals and find the paper-mill on the Sunday afternoon. It would have been the perfect trip if I hadn't gone "Drinking for England" at Kelly's Bar. I still remember falling out of the bar-maid's sister's jacked-up pick-up truck and throwing-up whilst un-tarping the next morning. I told them I was still sea-sick from the crossing. That trip continued with peat-moss from New Brunswick to North Carolina; before coming back to Manitoba with a load from Georgia. Just the sort of tour that suits me fine.
 
Team driving trip to Alaska.
 
 
____ Another good one was Alaska in March 2007. I had been to Whistler in British Columbia which was to be the site of the 2010 Winter Olympics; a steel building to house the towns new re-cycling centre. The re-load was ply-wood from Vancouver, two drops, Calgary and Saskatoon. Then came a satellite message: "Wait for Neil Ramsden in C540 and double-man an urgent load to Anchorage, Alaska." I hate team driving as I suffer badly from motion sickness and can never sleep in a moving vehicle. We had to do the trip in a drafty, noisy, un-comfortable, single-bed Kenworth T800 during the heart of Winter. The rate for the job was 36 cents per mile; split between us. Neil was a good mate but he had no mountain driving experience; he had yet to drive a truck on hard packed snow and, of course, he had never driven on snow-covered mountain roads at night!
 
____ But Neil was dead keen for some adventure and pointed out that this might be our only chance of visiting Alaska. I decided to do it just for the craic; yet again I was letting myself by drawn into a situation where there was going to be a lot of hard graft for little or no reward. The story of my life. We left my truck at the Flying 'J in Saskatoon; setting-off just before dark. Snow-chains were needed to get out of the Smoky River valley, on Highway 43 just before Grand Prairie, but otherwise it was trouble-free as far as Watson Lake. By then, I had talked Neil  round to my way of thinking; he was keen to drive non-stop because of the urgent nature of the load, but I was knackered so insisted on a five hour break.
 
Alaska passport stamp in mirror image.
 
 
____ At Whitehorse, Yukon, we met the first of the Big Freight trucks returning from Anchorage; Steve and John, fellow Brits, parked-up with a trailer brake over the cam. They gave us valuable information about the rest of the route and the tip in Anchorage. In all, there were twenty-four 20 foot containers going to the Bema Gold Corporation mine in Russia; flying from Alaska in an Antonov cargo plane. But when we arrived, the next morning in Anchorage, the plane had broken down some-where on route from the Ukraine. There wasn't any room at the airport for our load; eventually getting unloaded at the port by the very helpful and knowledgeable Scotty. Into a hotel for the night and a look round the town, we had just missed the start of the Iditarod long-distance dog-sled race.
 
____During the run back to Canada, a message came through with details of another trailer on it's way to Alaska. It costs $300 a year to register a truck for use in Alaska; sending us straight back would save the company money. We did the switch at Fort St. John and were back to AK in 48 hours  but with still no sign of the plane; all that urgency for nothing. Worst thing that happened was when the rear axle brakes on the trailer locked up in the freezing conditions. Four tyres ruined, but BJ's at Watson Lake had us up and running again inside three hours on a Sunday morning. Remarkable service but at a price: $2200 charged to Kenworth Assist. I was surprised nobody at Big Freight said anything about it when we got back.
 
____ The job was going nicely up to the end of May when a phone call told me that my father had died from a sudden heart-attack. I had spoken to him on the Saturday afternoon and felt that he didn't appreciate me calling when he was watching the horse-racing on television; he died on the Sunday. Big Freight brought me straight back from Kansas and I was back in the UK before the end of the week. Just a few days short of being a year away.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Immigrant : Part Two

 
 
Flew in on a Trans-Atlantic flight,
They put me in a motel, fifty bucks a night.
Then there was the test to take,
With pre-trip followed by air-brake.
Then a week of orientation
And how to behave at the border station.
 
 
 
 ____ Eric Slatcher met us at the airport; I was impressed that he turned out at 10.30 in the evening. "Us" refers to his four new drivers; all on the same plane, Paul Cook, Mike Muhling, Neil Ramsden and Chris Arbon. The four of us were pretty much inseparable during driver-training, right through until we signed on for our individual trucks. It was a great help to be team-handed; it saved money by sharing a motel room and eventually an apartment. It helped to have a buddy when practicing for the driving test. A British Heavy Goods Vehicle Driving Licence was not transferable to Canada; all immigrant drivers had to take a test.
 
____ On the first Monday after our arrival, we all trooped into Winnipeg to sit the written part of our test; sixty multiple choice questions. Neil and I passed but the other two needed to re-sit. Monday afternoon and Neil and I went to the Free Eagle Driving School and booked three half-day sessions. We had three different instructors during the sessions but there wasn't much they needed to teach us; apart from the test route around Steinbach and the complicated air-brake test. It took a hell of a lot of practice; but with each of us testing each other, we eventually cracked it. The driving school block-booked several test spots every week; so by midday, Friday, we were both ready to hit the road as qualified Canadian truckers.
 
____ But it was another two weeks before we went out with a load. Paul and Mike didn't take their tests until the following week and the week after that was "orientation" week. At most of the companies were I have worked; there has been no training. Just show your HGV licence and catch the set of keys thrown across a portacabin. But Big Freight presumes that you know nothing about trucking; a whole week is spent in the classroom covering a lot of stuff that I already knew but also some important customs and border-crossing information. Big Jim Penner was the training and safety guy while on Sunday he preached at a local Mennonite church. I told the others to not ask questions, not to argue and we would get through it just fine.
 
____ Outside work; there was plenty to do. Medical card, social insurance card, bank account, finding permanent accommodation, buying and insuring a vehicle; but with four of us going around together, all the problems soon became solutions. I did a couple of short day-trips as a passenger with other drivers which was a lot more worthwhile than orientation. One to Brandon for a load of steel beams; the other, south of the border for a load of quadbikes. Both regular customers. It took just over three weeks from when I landed until I rolled out the yard with my first load. A lot longer than I thought and longer than necessary; but I was paid from day-one and am not complaining. 
 
Big Blue, the Free Eagle training vehicle pictured in 2006, still on the streets of Steinbach in 2014.
  

Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Immigrant : Part One

 
 
I rocked-up to this seminar and told them about myself
They said "You seem like a trucking man and we are here to help."
They said there would be nothing to pay if I would commit to a two year stay,
So I filled in forms for the rest of the day and signed my life away.
 
 
 
 
____ My first recollection of the name "Big Freight" was from the March 2006 copy of Truckstop News. There was a half-page advert detailing a forth-coming recruitment tour by the Canadian company. I didn't own a computer but did have an e-mail address; so during a trip to the local library; I sent off my Cv and told them I would be at the South Mimms seminar on the Friday evening. Little did I know that the seminar was by invitation and limited to 20 job-seekers. There was a return e-mail saying that the company had enough applicants but, of course, I didn't read it and went along ignorant to the fact that I wasn't wanted.
 
 
____ Getting to the Travelodge Hotel at the South Mimms Service Area, just off the M25/A1M junction, proved difficult in the Friday evening traffic and I arrived late. The meeting was in progress, so I just sat down and listened without having to introduce myself. Another thing that worked in my favour was the poor attendance; just four couples from the 20 invited had turned-up. Eric Slatcher, Big Freight's recruiter, was on his first foreign  tour; the lack of bums on seats must have been a worry because I'm sure he knew I shouldn't have been there. But he was keen to sign up drivers to show his bosses that he could do his job. Eric was accompanied by Phil, an English driver who had already started in Canada. Both seemed extremely jet-lagged and the whole meeting was dominated by endless questions from a couple of the drivers wives; stuff that was totally irrelevant to me. It was only after everybody had gone home that I got to talk to Eric Slatcher, one to one. He was smoking a cigarette outside the front of the hotel; we chatted for about an hour and found we had a lot in common. He had gone behind a desk because of a heart-attack but I could tell he was still a truck-driver. We bonded like two drivers who find themselves parked-up together in a foreign country, telling tales, laughing, moaning about customs, customers and car-drivers.
 
____ Eric's recruitment tour had three more stops after South Mimms; the BP Truckstop in Wolverhampton, Whitwood in Yorkshire and Dublin in Ireland. He was concerned about the possible poor response to his invitations at the other venues. I think this is why he gave me the offer of a job there and then; which at least gave him something from his first seminar as none of the others from that night ever turned up in Canada.
 
____ For me, driving in Canada could have come two years earlier. Before the old Eastern Bloc countries joined the European Union; I had a dream job. Living in the Dordogne in France, driving for a German company, based in Munich and running the England, Germany, Spain triangle. It all came to an end in May 2004 when LKW Walter, the Austrian freight broker, cut the rate in half and gave all the work to the Poles, Slovenians, Lithuanians et al. There was no work in rural France and I had spent nearly two years doing agency and casual work whilst flying Ryan Air to and from Limoges Airport. Basing myself at my fathers place when in England; the exact same address when I first started truck-driving.
 
____ Faxes flew back and forth across the Atlantic and by the end of May I had all my ducks in a row and the all important police report that stated I was not a villain. I had references from past employers, certificates from school and a brand new passport. I took everything, plus the offer of employment, up to the Canadian High Commission in London and waited in the rain before securing an official letter that would give me entry to the promised land. [ This was 2006 and the goalposts have moved since then, so please don't think that reading this can be of help today.]
 
____ The health of my aging father was a big concern and my sister-in-law made it quite plain that she did not want me disappearing across the ocean and leaving her with all the work and caring. There fore I just intended to stay the two years before returning. Another concern was that it could all be just too good to be true. Big Freight were paying a guaranteed $3500 a month as well as the cost of the air ticket. But maybe I was signed up to slave labour; I needed plan "B."
 
____ Zoom Airlines were the only carrier flying direct to Winnipeg and although it was only one flight a week; it was good value at $420 from Gatwick Airport. Thursday, 15th June, 2006 and I was en-route to the New World. Bicycles flew free; so I took my bike and all my cycle-touring gear; if it all went tits-up, I would just ride away into the sunset; do a bit of touring and come back home. When I arrived the customs lady asked what was in the huge bike bag.
"Everything I own." I replied.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Bartrums Road Services

The Nitram Road.
____ It was the Autumn of 1979 when I had a job interview with Philip Bartrum at Great Blakenham, just north of Ipswich in Suffolk. Bartrums of Diss were expanding and had bought-out E.W.List of Debenham. The major reason for the takeover was to acquire the ICI fertilizer distribution contract and the warehouse facility at Great Blakenham. E.W.List had a fleet of ten trucks but had enough work for thirty; Bartrums was their biggest sub-contractor who now wanted the well-paying work direct. All the E.W.List drivers took a redundancy pay-out rather than work for Bartrums; so here I was along with a dozen more hopeful drivers looking for a start.

____  Leonard Bartrum started his road haulage company in 1929 and although it was nationalised in 1949 and became part of British Road Services; he bought back the company and ran it until 1966 when he handed over the reigns to his three sons; Philip, Roger and Roy. Their main customers were Colman's; the mustard people, Howard; farm machinery, Boot's the Chemist, the British Sugar Corporation. They also carried bulk flour and malt as well as loads for numerous smaller customers. The ICI work was important as it gave the company loads to bring back to East Anglia from the three fertilizer plants at Billingham, Teeside, Heysham in Lancashire and Avonmouth in the South-West.

____ At twenty-five years old; I was far from the youngest of the new team based at the four-bay warehouse in Lodge Lane, Gt. Blakenham. Mr Bartrum seemed to have deliberately picked the youngsters; although we had to drive the old E.W.List lorries which were Volvo F88s and MAN 16.280s. I was given a MAN which proudly displayed "Truck of the Year" across the top of the windshield. ALT 31 S was an impressive truck; 280 bhp and a double-bunk sleeper but with a 13 speed Eaton-Fuller gearbox; column-change. Half an hour up the road on my first trip; I pulled a muscle in by left shoulder due to difficulties with the un-synchronised gears and the strange position of the gear lever. But once I had mastered cog-box it soon became the best truck I had driven; up to that point in my career.

____ The out-going work of E.W.List was mainly for Vicon; the Dutch farm machinery manufacturer. A typical load on a 40 foot flat-deck trailer would be fifty fertilizer spreaders for a dozen drops. The destinations could be any where in England and Wales. Delivering the spreaders and returning to base with a load of fertilizer would take a week. I loved this type of work and Bartrums were happy to have a driver who didn't mind how many nights-out they had. The Lake District and the West Country were my favorites but I soon began to like the loads to North Wales; once I overcame my aversion to the Welsh speaking locals.

____ I made some good friends with the other drivers and we became a tight-knit group when all the old E.W.List trucks were replaced by a brand new fleet of 1626 Mercedes Benz tractor units. Our new trucks incensed the loyal long-serving drivers at Bartrums' Eye depot on the Norfolk/Suffolk border; many of whom were driving old Volvo F86s. Their resentment of the Great Blakenham drivers never relented in all the years I was there. Plus of course; there was the old Norfolk/ Suffolk; Norwich City/ Ipswich Town rivalry.

260 horse power - 32 tonnes gross vehicle weight.


____ One of the outstanding differences between my old employer, BRS, and Bartrums was driver attitude. At the union dominated BRS; drivers would doing anything to get out of doing work and everything to make things awkward for the management. At Bartrums; the drivers showed tremendous loyalty and would do anything for the young master; a.k.a. Philip Bartrum. He had started as a driver, roping and sheeting in all weathers  and had earned the respect of the long-serving core of drivers. The company paid better than most and driver turn-over was low. The workforce was hard-working and competent; although there was a drinking culture and trouble-making side. The A1, Great North Road, was their playground; Newark, night-out central. I was always OK with the Norfolk drivers if it was one-on-one; but when they were team-handed they were a handful. Mr. Smith, the despatcher at Eye was always getting complaints about his "Cowboys"
 "Cowboys? I wish they were cowboys. Give me cowboys any day. They're all animals; nothing short of animals." was his legendary reply.

20 tonnes of ICI Nitram fertilizer tarped and fly-sheeted.


____ Nitrate fertilizer was big business at the time and the ICI plant at Billingham, Teeside, was sending thousands of tonnes of Nitram south to pastures of East Anglia. The problems of drinking water contamination had yet to surface and every farmer liberally used the snow-white granules in their bright blue plastic bags. Farm deliveries were common and forklift trucks were rare; hand-ball was the name of the game. My hands were a mass of hard-skin ridges and splits from all the roping and sheeting; add wet nitrate fertilizer to the cuts and it brought tears to your eyes.

Not the biggest of cabs but it did have two beds.


____The 1626 Merc was a reliable work-horse, if a little under-powered; it plodded along for two years before being replaced by a Volvo F7, lighter and more lively. In all, I did about three years at Bartrums, leaving to go across the water in search of adventure. The money wasn't better and I don't think I've had a better employer than Bartrums. I've good memories of zig-zagging across the country, driving new roads every day, in search of Vicon farm machinery dealers. In 2006, when I came to Canada, I needed a reference from a company where I had done roping and sheeting so I wrote to Bartrums. They wrote back to say they remembered me and wished me luck. Good to see that they are still going strong.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Herbert Victor Green: HGV Driving Instructor.

Sudbury to Mendlesham Airfield.
____ It was Christmas 2004 when I casually remarked to my father that I had been driving trucks for thirty years.
"Then don't you think that it's about time you got a proper job?" was his witty quick-fire reply.
Since then, ten years have flown by, with the last eight in Canada. A disabling accident on my sixty-first birthday has given me time to cast my mind back to the final quarter of 1974 and my time spent with Herbie Green; the second most influential man in my life, after my father.

____Twenty-one was the age limit for lorry-drivers and I sent off for my provisional licence as soon as possible. November 2nd was the date of my assessment at the Road Transport Industry Training Board's establishment at Mendlesham, Suffolk. A Saturday afternoon, where my first experience of driving an articulated vehicle ended as a miserable failure. Reversing: bad. Maneuvering: bad. Awareness: poor. Signalling: poor. Everything on the report card was either bad or poor except for "Road positioning" which was my only "Good." I honestly thought that the driving school would not want me as a pupil.

____ But the short Winter days were not a popular time for driver trainees and I was offered a three week course starting on the 2nd of December. The price was 180 quid including the fee for one test. Mendlesham RTITB arranged for me to be registered as a driver for Anglia Heavy Haulage; this cut the cost of the tuition by about a third as the company was eligible for a government training grant.

____Every morning of my training started in frosty darkness as I rode my 125 Kawasaki trail bike across Suffolk on B-roads from Sudbury to the driving school in the shadow of the Mendlesham  television transmitter mast. It was on an old World War Two airfield which was perfect for lorry driving learners to practice. There were offices and classrooms with all the servicing of the trucks done at the adjacent premises of Taylor Barnard, a large local haulier.

____The first morning was spent in the classroom; were I found myself paired with Nigel, another 21 year old, and Herbert Green, our instructor. Herbie was the senior instructor and made no secret that he was always given the pupils that needed the full three week course and were least likely to pass first-time. The first afternoon was spent in a Leyland Chieftain with Herbie at the wheel; showing us how it was done and confirming to me that I knew nothing.

____The Chieftain was a 4x2 tractor unit coupled to a 33 foot tandem axle flatbed trailer rated to run at a maximum 28 tonnes, fully-freighted. The gearbox was a constant-mesh six-speed; which Herbie informed us, had been converted from a synchromesh six-speed just to make things harder. We were given the keys and told we could come in as early as we liked to practice early morning maneuvering on the concrete airfield runway. Nigel perfected his reversing whist I thawed out from my pre-dawn motorcycle ride.

____A pattern soon emerged in our training. Nigel would drive from 8 until 10, when we would stop at a café for breakfast. My first shift was 10.30 to 12.30 then lunch. Nigel 1 o'clock to 3, then a quick switch and I drove the last session; back at base at about 5 o'clock. We sat three-abreast in the Leyland day cab with Herbie in the middle. Week 1 and Herbie never stopped talking; telling both of us each and everything we had to do and when to do it. Mirror, signal, gear. Left, right, straight-on. Brake, stop, go, get a move on.

____Week 2 and Herbie cut the instructions down to just left, right and straight-on but was now telling us both about each and every mistake we made through out the day. He still never stopped talking and the annoying thing was that he never missed a mistake. We got away with nothing.
"You don't seem to be enjoying this?" Herbie remarked after one particular mistake riddled session.
"Don't worry, I'll shut you up." I snapped back at him.
"That's the spirit, boy, now lets make progress."

____Slowly, things began to fall into place. Herbie's tuition in reversing finally began to make sense. The endless driving around the Ipswich ring-road and port area gave us enough practice of the test route while the grating gear-changes of the first week were now just clicks. Herbie also expanded on endless transport topics; teaching us not only "How to drive a lorry and pass the test" but also "How to become a lorry-driver." The difference between the two might be too subtle for some people but the stuff that Herbie taught me is still a big part of my everyday driving technique, even after 40 years.

____The man had my respect from "day-one" with his clutch-less changes of the gearbox and in the following weeks I saw just how much respect he commanded amongst the lorry-drivers of Suffolk. There was never a single time in any transport café where Herbie was required to open his wallet; always there was a former pupil on hand to bring over a mug of tea. Every driving session was punctuated with head-light flashing and waving from on-coming trucks as ever-thankful drivers recognised the master. Every wave was acknowledged with a swift karate chop slash of the right arm. Quite disconcerting at first; as Herbie would normally sit motionless in the middle of the cab with his arms folded.

____Freezing fog greeted me as I made my way to Mendlesham on the morning of the test; Friday 20th December 1974. Herbie was  confident that the test centre examiners would not venture out in such weather but we would have to turn-up at our allotted time in order to get another test slot at no extra charge. Sure enough; Nigel's 08.30 test was postponed and we all went for breakfast. My test should have begun at 11 o'clock and I had resigned myself to coming back and taking it after Christmas; but then the wind got up and it started to drizzle. The fog cleared and the test was on; a series of set manoeuvers at the test centre, reversing, slalom, emergency stop. Then the rest of the two hours was spent out and about in Ipswich followed by thirty questions. I honestly thought that I had failed when a car came out of no-where at a round-about and I locked-up all the brakes. After that , the examiner seemed to be taking me back to the test centre and didn't bother with the hill-start test. But he did pass me; mentioning the incident at the roundabout and saying that if there had been a collision he would have been forced to make me take a re-test.

____ Herbie said afterwards that he knew I would pass; I think he was proud that he had managed to teach someone who knew so little and got him through in just three weeks. During the following years; our paths crossed on numerous occasions. I bought the teas and received the right arm swipe when we passed on the road. I will always be thankful for his tuition and his safety orientated tips that helped me so much through five decades of driving.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Living with the Pain of a Dislocated Shoulder

Just about the only driving I am doing these days.


____Sympathy for the Devil.

 "There but for the grace of God, go I." has always been my thought when I see the bad luck suffered by others. But now it's my turn. Your guardian angel steps out of the office for a cigarette and in a heartbeat your life goes from "Fair to middling" down to "Down-right shitty." I could write a piece moaning about my moaning but I'm going to be positive and give some advice on what to do if you find yourself in my situation.

____Do not Google.

The Internet is great and I love it; information at your fingertips on every subject under the Sun. But when it comes to medical issues; maybe there is too much information. Reading all the stuff about your condition will only leave you feeling worse. You may become an expert and understand such phrases as "Multiple fractures of the rotator cusp due to reduction failures." But this will lead to mental health problems; especially when realise that you know more about shoulders than some of the doctors who have treated you.

____Phone a Friend.

With hind-sight; my first mistake in this saga was going to the nearest hospital. A small urban facility that would not have been my destination if I had called an ambulance. Now back at home; I didn't want repeat this by going to the local Steinbach hospital and just hope they could get me back to fitness. I'm sure they would do their best but shoulders are special so why not go to the specialist first? If your local health-care provider fucks it up; you'll end up at a specialist anyway and will have wasted a hell of a lot of time. My good friend and fellow blogger, Bobthedog, suffered serious shoulder damage in an atv/quad-bike accident. Now back to full fitness, a quick call told me that the Pan-Am Clinic in Winnipeg was the best place to go.

____Be a patient Patient.

The Pan-Am started out as a small sports injury clinic attached to the Pan-Am Pool, a facility built in 1967 when the Pan-Am Games were held in Winnipeg. It is now a large well-regarded centre for all types of injuries; with a first-come-first-served hobble-in service. Be prepared for long waits between check-in, exam, x-ray, re-exam; but they do know their stuff and it's not like a normal hospital where you are waiting around with a whole bunch of sick people and are liable to catch something. Life has to be planned around clinic appointments with only total uncertainty controlling the future.

____Buy a 1990's beige Buick Century.

A black Mustang is not the right car for you if you are pottering along at 35 mph in an opiate-induced haze with your left arm strapped to your chest. Some do-gooder will phone it in as a DUI. If it's an old guy in a Buick Century; it's expected. Get used to acting as if you are in God's waiting room. Everything takes time; washing, eating, even sleeping. I've always gone to sleep; laying on my stomach so sitting-up with a pile of pillows behind me is not what my body expects. The drugs don't help either; I doubt if I've had more than four hours of continuous sleep in the last three weeks.

____Shit Happens.

Make sure shit happens. Morphine is a great pain reduction drug but it does have side effects. One is: the Workers Compensation Board don't like it's habit forming qualities and won't authorise prescriptions for it. You have to pay for it. Second: it binds you up. Avoiding one-armed visits to the crapper might seem like a good idea at first; but you will pay for it in the end. The pain in the arse will match the pain in the shoulder. Keep constipation at bay with plenty of fibre and fizzy drinks. Get in a supply of laxative chocolate; even if you don't use it, you can have some fun with it afterwards. You don't want end up sitting on the bog for hours; thinking about the wonderful times when you over-did the truck-stop buffet and it went through you faster than a Ferrari.